Why do you need to go find yourself? Are you lost?
My grandpa always chuckled at that saying. How could a person get to the point in life where they feel so lost that they need to go “find” themselves?
We found ourselves in the jungle of Peru, visiting a friend’s homestead, ready to go on this adventure with peppermint essential oil, all natural bug spray and a hand held fan… being as prepared as we could for the jungle life.
They say you either come out of the jungle as a warrior….. or you come out running.
It was a pivotal time in all of our lives, embracing change that was waiting for us when we got home. It all came to us at the perfect time, while we were all in a transition period, ready to set strong intentions on the life we wanted to embody when we returned home. We found ourselves scrambling to make ends meet so we could go on this adventure, knowing that an opportunity to spend a month in solitude, with the chance to meet yourself with no distractions, wasn’t something we wanted to pass up.
We did our best to embrace all parts of the jungle. A friend that I later talked to about it, thought the sound of being out in nature 24/7 for a month sounded magical. The nature in her mind was rainbows and butterflies. Although the most spectacular butterflies live in the jungle…you also have to add the mosquitos that surround you like moths to a flame, the spiders the size of your hand, fire ants ready to attack outside your door, heat that makes you sweat in your sleep and the constant hum of the wilderness.
We were like new seedlings living in our own little greenhouses, cabins insulated with mosquito netting, being taken care of by the constant sun, water and very simple foods. Our friend was our gardener, tending to us and helping us grow. She provided the essentials, allowing our ancestral knowledge and intuition to take over the rest. Our daily tasks involved…
1) Pruning back our unwanted leaves of our past selves and watering our new seeds with fresh insights and intentions
2) Journaling… journaling and when we got bored….more journaling
3) Investigating our dreams like they were clues in an escape room.
Each dream offered fragments of insight, pieces of a puzzle waiting to be solved. In the grand escape room of this matrix, we tend to be trapped by the walls we’ve built from societal expectations, others’ opinions, and the domestications that confine us. The walls of this escape room are painted with the habits you’ve picked up since childhood, the floors laid with beliefs that have been handed down and every locked door represents a barrier created by a limiting belief.
Dreams delve deep into the subconscious, showing secrets that are blurred by our loud monkey mind. Each dream holds the potential to unlock new chapters in our lives, revealing truths that go beyond what our eyes can. You begin to see beyond the illusions of the matrix, and move towards a life defined by your OWN truths and values. Dreams help us see beyond the physical, they are whispers from our soul, urging us to wake up from this illusion and step into the reality of our authentic selves.
We learned the age old concept of sacrifice, that true growth involves giving up something. That nothing in life is free. To ask for something you must give. There must be a sacrifice. There must always be an exchange in energy.
The principle of sacrifice is a cornerstone across the world: in Buddhism, monks give up worldly possession to devote themself to enlightenment; in Islam, Muslims practise Ramada to strengthen their relationship with God; and in some Native American tribes, they embark on Vision Quests that involve fasting, meditation and solitude to seek deeper focus and insights.
Our sacrifice was our comfort: giving up our reality tv programs, midnight runs to the fridge to look for a snack, ignoring the screen time limit that tells us we’ve been on our phone a little too long, excessively soft mattresses and the surplus of plush pillows….. all usually enjoyed in a temperature controlled home…. It was no easy task. But to give up distractions is to strengthen self-discipline, to strengthen your intuition, and to strengthen your connection to God.
But that’s the point, to get uncomfortable. It’s easy to think that it’s the mosquitoes that swarm you once you’re outside, the constant heat and cravings that kick in are the issue- but the real battle is learning to control the mind and find the root of your frustration.
The point was to get away from all distractions- no phones, no books or anything that welcomes outside consciousness. To sit with your mind and hear your own truth, to hear “God’s” voice.
I believe we are never alone in life. We are born with guides that show up in physical and nonphysical forms. We then find the right people along our journey, that help guide us out of the matrix. As Ram Dass beautifully said, “we are all walking each other home.”
The journey of life is to return to our innocence, what we once knew to be true. When we were born we possessed this understanding. Our life’s purpose is to remember who we are. Who we have always been.
I can confidently say we ran out of the jungle… but as warriors.
